Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
