An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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