I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
