I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
