so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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