i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
