what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
