he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
