at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
