I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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