she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
