im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
In other news, I just burned my penis
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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