so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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