He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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