Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
