I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
