he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
