4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
