youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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