Non-Jews are for practice
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i need some magic done to my vagina
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
