remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
