Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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