Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
