I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
