How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
