So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
