She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had sex on a roof
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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