is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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