I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They are going to name an STD after you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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