wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
