So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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