I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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