let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
