I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Please, let me fuck your mom
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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