I can feel you judging me through the phone.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
