Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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