Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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