What a fucking waste of an outfit
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
