Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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