i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
