Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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