i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
