Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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