I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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