When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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