we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
