I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
