I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
