we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
