She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
