Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
