How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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