why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
