Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
