I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
