Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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