Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
