besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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